Journey

Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Grandad Gardiner and to Sean.  Sam, Rory and Colt are lucky to have two generations of dads in their lives.  All three men are great role models and add so much value to the lives of their children and grandchildren.  We love you very much.  Even though the blog is written about Rory’s journey from my perspective Sean is also there every step of the way.  In the boys lives he is the counter balance to my assertive personality.  He provides comfort and support while I am fighting battles, he teaches skills I cannot and he injects humour and silliness into most situations.  Yesterday Colt and I were using the Relive app to record our tramping trip to Waitahinga Dam.  Sean was photo bombing our photos and taking sneaky pictures of body parts to make it into our short video (thankfully I found and deleted them)!  Taking over as Rory’s primary carer has exposed Sean to experiences he was unable to have before.  On Friday in the supermarket Sean and Rory bumped into Mark, one of the Resource Teachers of the Deaf who used to support Rory at high school.  Rory and Mark got into an animated conversation and it reached Sean in the heart.  He said it was like Rory didn’t have any impairments, and he was witnessing a normal social exchange between two blokes.  This doesn’t happen often enough.  Rory struggles to engage with people and people either shy away or tolerate him.  It takes special people, often those who have lived or worked with people with impairments, to see him as a person, step towards him and support a connection.  Hearing Sean talk about it brought a lump to my throat. 

This week Rory had his first appointment with Andy the Clinical Psychologist from ACC.  Andy is talking with Rory about thoughts and feelings he is uncomfortable sharing with Sean and I.  He will teach Rory some strategies to deal with these.  On Friday Rory and Sean met ACC Occupational Therapist Leanne at Pukekura Park to give the mobility scooters a whirl.  Rory thought it was great as it will be easier to explore further without having to hold onto one of us.  We have starting to talk to our Support Carers about the changes which will occur when ACC assumes responsibility for funding.  I am currently wading through the Needs Assessment report.

Yesterday Rory spent a very wet Saturday with Support Carer Jo.  They went to Dragonball Z at the Movies, did some baking at home and made delicious sushi for tea.  Rory has been teaching Jo some new card games and was less then thrilled when she started winning.  Sean, Colt and I slipped away to the border of Whanganui and Taranaki to walk the 10km loop track to Waitahinga Dam http://www.waitotara.co.nz/waitahinga.htm .  We managed to find the only part of Taranaki where it was dry!  The dam was built in 1904 as a water storage reservoir for Whanganui.  The native forest contains impressive old rimu and rata trees and spider orchids.  The diversity of native birds was surprising, from Karearea NZ falcon to Korimako Bellbird and Toutouwai NI robin.  We enjoyed a picnic lunch admiring the emerald green water of the dam.  Colt’s sharp eyes managed to spot the nail tree (not sign posted), named for the old nails in the trunk which were presumably hammered in to prevent logging (its near the boundary).  We hugged the Hug tree (sign posted) on the return leg.  Unfortunately the rain set on our way back and we arrived at the car a bit soggy.  It was a wonderful wander and we will be back.