Strange

Sam and Mum May 2021

“How selfhood begins with a walking away, And love is provided in the letting go”  Cecil Day Lewis

Rory is right it is strange.  We keep expecting to see evidence of Sam at home; his dirty football and plumbing gear in the washing machine, the locked door of our second toilet and the middle of the day texts asking what is for dinner.  We expect to hear his voice at the end of the day when he arrives home from work and the banter he has with Sean and his brothers.  The only evidence which remains are memories and the presence of Sam in our hearts and minds.  On Friday we helped shift Sam and Caitlyn into their first home in Inglewood.  It was a very sad and an incredibly exciting day.  I couldn’t help spilling a few tears when I hugged Sam after we arrived in the morning.  Sam shares my sense of humour and he said to me “Come on mum you have been waiting for me to move out since the day I was born”.  We are proud of Sam and Caitlyn for being able to save enough money to purchase a home, for all the logistical work it entailed and for stepping out on their own.  We are glad they are close by so we can still have them in our lives and  provide support (and vice versa).  Sam’s moving out has affected us all.  We already miss him.  The gap left by Sam has created space in the house so there has been a lot of activity inside over the past couple of days.  Colt has moved into Sam’s larger room and for the first time in years I have a small office so I will no longer have to work at the kitchen table.  I have been sorting through gear, recycling, donating and throwing out.  It is a work in progress. 

Rory and Colt started school again for Term 2.  Colt has resumed playing football for Inglewood AFC.  Sam is the Captain of the Inglewood AFC Premier Team.  They won against a good New Plymouth side on Saturday and Sam scored a goal so he was pretty chuffed. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mums out there.  I think you are incredible.  We enjoyed a family lunch with Nana Honnor and spoke to Grannie Gardiner on the phone.  We love you both very much xox