Journey

I track the weeks like keeping score with a golf counter.  Apart from mostly minor bumps in the road it feels like life is on repeat with some semblance of normality.  But for Rory, and our family, life will always be a house of cards.  Out of the blue, at any time, a card can be eliminated causing everything to tumble down.  The majority of the time we can suppress our reality and the fear that comes with living this way but sometimes it is overwhelming.  Rory is currently in Taranaki Base Hospital.  He has had a persistent cough for eight weeks.  It has progressively become more frequent lasting for longer periods.  Rory felt unwell on Friday and we were up with him most of Friday night.  A painful headache came on and he was feeling lousy.  Rory generally keeps good health.  If he says he doesn’t feel well it is usually serious.  Thankfully his recent chest x-ray result was clear.  I took him to the Emergency Department on Saturday morning.  The doctors have started him on antibiotics and stress dose hydrocortisone.  His blood work indicates inflammation.  At this stage they suspect Whooping Cough or Bronchitis as he has nasal discharge.  I am anxiously awaiting a CT scan to rule out cancer lesions and/or further damage from radiation somewhere in his head, neck or chest.  Last night was exhausting due to the coughing but Rory does feel a bit better today.  I can’t help but feel there are two separate health issues at play, the chronic cough and a recent viral/bacterial illness.  It is strange how life in the hospital fades in your memory. It alternates between intense action and long periods of nothing.  You are cocooned in artificial light and warmth accompanied by the constant beeping of machines.  Sean has taken over from me today at the hospital.  Hopefully we will know more by tomorrow afternoon.